I haven't updated in over 2 weeks. Not because I've forgotten....just because I haven't written anything I felt needed to be posted.
Spring break got thrown in the mix and I don't think I touched my computer for four days in a row. That happens when you have an iPod. So let's blame that shall we?
I feel like time is just flying past me. Is it already Thursday? Wow. I just got back up here on Sunday and it feels like it was yesterday.
Time just keeps slipping through my fingers. It blows my mind. I feel a little out of control. Like how I feel when I bomb it down a run really fast on my snowboard. There's a thrill in that, but also a paranoia....because at that speed crashing really hurts. I feel kind of like time is barreling me that fast through it...and there is the thrill...but the paranoia that I'm missing things.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream state and that when I wake up I only remember a few of the things that happened. I don't know how to slow time down, stop the clock and catch my breath.
Each week seems to go by at a break neck speed....and I arrive at the weekend, only to speed up trying to get things done.
A good friend of mine once said, "Time stops for no one." Maybe at some point it will slow down a little bit so I can really enjoy the moments that I feel are passing me by.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Just In Case
You were in need of a good cry today....I didn't think I was, but once I started reading this blog I couldn't stop. You should stop here....and maybe donate a little too.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Right
I miss being right all the time. Or at least the confidence I used to have that I was always right. Right so often that when I finally was wrong...I had to sign a sheet of paper to show it was genuine. Maybe you could call that stubbornness....
I just feel like I used to be the no nonsense girl that was cutthroat when she needed to be and didn't take any prisoners.
Like when I told my principal off....Or when I wrote a very frank email.....
I think I know the day it changed. I think it stemmed from words from a very angry man who never apologized to me...just my mother, and crying the in Mr. Weishar's office to get the administration off my back. I think it came from dealing with people and being left out.
I think those were the times I had to grow up.
As Shakespeare might put it....the shrew has been tamed.
Maybe this realization that I don't really know anything comes from growing up. From understanding that my parents just improvised and were just are just as scared as I am about growing up and getting older.
Because just when I thought I had things figured out something comes along and opens my eyes a little wider. I realized all I could have and that life just wouldn't work without it.
I am so confused.
Times like this make me miss the days when I was always right.
I just feel like I used to be the no nonsense girl that was cutthroat when she needed to be and didn't take any prisoners.
Like when I told my principal off....Or when I wrote a very frank email.....
I think I know the day it changed. I think it stemmed from words from a very angry man who never apologized to me...just my mother, and crying the in Mr. Weishar's office to get the administration off my back. I think it came from dealing with people and being left out.
I think those were the times I had to grow up.
As Shakespeare might put it....the shrew has been tamed.
Maybe this realization that I don't really know anything comes from growing up. From understanding that my parents just improvised and were just are just as scared as I am about growing up and getting older.
Because just when I thought I had things figured out something comes along and opens my eyes a little wider. I realized all I could have and that life just wouldn't work without it.
I am so confused.
Times like this make me miss the days when I was always right.
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