Thursday, December 18, 2008

Growing up...

So I got laid off in November. I thought I would be just fine. I would just get a new job like that right? Wrong.
The good news is that I did get a new job. At the Brick Oven no less. It'll get me through the next few months. Hopefully, I'll be able to get a job at Pinnacle in the spring and make a lot more money.
It's a weird feeling to be growing up. I applied for housing the other day, if that's not scary I don't know what is.
Applying for housing was a wake up call. I've got to have so much money and be able to take care of myself. It's a little overwhelming. I don't want to grow up.
Even harder while I'm going up to Logan, my best friend isn't going with me. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to survive college without him. I'll be able to call him whenever I want to, but that's not quite the same as having him with me.
I'm trying not to think about this all too much. So much of me is screaming, "STAY!" Stay here, where life is familiar and I have my own bed and I don't have to worry...he'll be here too.
But I was never that girl. I was never that girl that would throw away all of her dreams for a boy. I was never that girl that was going to put her life on hold. I've never been that girl. I don't think I ever will be. If I stayed here I would have so many regrets. I know, no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to go to Logan. I've got to go and grow up and live my life.
Who knows? Maybe it will all work out in the end and not be nearly as bleak as I'm painting it.