Saturday, May 28, 2011

Denver, Colorado
Just checked in to my fabulous hotel in the mile high city and checked out of my stressful life.
Ah....vacation. I needed this.
A place mostly unfamiliar....I've been here a few times before....but unfamiliar enough to let me dream again of what life can be.
I can forget for a little while that I put almost $1100 into my car this week.
I can forget my work obligations and just have some me time.
Hey it may only be three days, but this beautiful city is worth it.
Plus the Cardinals are totally going to kick butt tomorrow and I get to be there.
Have a nice weekend, I know I will.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

What happens next?

Lately I've found myself asking this question a lot.
Mark didn't get back into USU. Which means that while I will be moving back to Logan come August....he will not.
I have GREAT roommates that will keep me me plenty busy I'm sure....but I was so looking forward to seeing him all the time like we used to. Even if it was just for an hour....
This will not be happening. Not until spring semester at least. This makes me really depressed.
I at least managed to eat super unhealthy today....but when I got the news from Mark yesterday....that was a different story. I had onion rings and a milkshake. If you know anything about me when I'm upset....I crave food. Onion rings being the primary craving. That or Phish food. Which I really wanted but didn't get. I settled for the milkshake. Which was even more unhealthy.
Then I worked a 10 1/2 hour day and pretended like everything was fine. It was. Until I got home and realized that it wasn't.
My eternal optimism got thrown back into my face. It was more logic than anything else. So then I start calming down when I think about it logically.
I organize every little worry into a neat little pile. But while I do that I have to examine it, remember why that was a worry to begin with. Then I forget why I bothered organizing them to begin with.
I try to organize myself into some sort of form that I can manage. I keep getting told I don't have compassion by the customer's at work, because  I won't release them from their contract. My intelligence is questioned. I try not to be rude and the only think that keeps me biting my tongue is the fact that I know I'm smarter than them and I have the power. Give me the weekend. I need a break from these 10 hour days. 
eat sleep work eat sleep work eat sleep work eat sleep work

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Home at last...

I moved home Friday....and it feels strange.
This may be because I changed pretty much everything about my room but the color and the furniture which happened faster than I planned.
It is also probably because of my extended work at home status at one knows who I am. It's a little frustrating when they talk down to me like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm like, "Dude...I've worked here longer than you." While the look on their faces is's still frustrating.
It's also frustrating because I want to hang out with Mark a lot more than I actually do. I saw him yesterday and today for a few minutes but it's not quite enough. I'm just glad he doesn't work tomorrow so I can finally actually hang out with him.
It seems like I wanted to see him so badly and it's just few and far between. It's better than only seeing each other every two weeks, but still. I'm sure it will work out. After all, it's only the first week of summer right?
I miss my best friends who I haven't seen in I don't know how long. Kait has been in St. George, but is hopefully available soonish, and Hayley apparently has anatomy taking over her life. Which is good for now, because most nights I just want to come home and sleep. I'm still exhausted from school. Still stressed because all the grades haven't come in....and until they do I doubt I'll feel like school is over.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Product Image Springmaid® Chocolate Floral Comforter SetI have some grand plans this summer!

1. Redecorating my room....
That's the new comforter set I picked out. My mom was so excited when I told her....and then I showed her and she realized my walls were staying blue....then she was less excited. She hates my blue walls.
2. Glow in the dark chalk!
Yes I know....I'm extremely immature. But this is going to be so much fun. I have some grand plans for this chalk. And I'll have to have Kait involved...since she's a way better artist than I am anyways.

3. Hanging with my friends. Oh man I miss Hayley, Kait, and Jessi....although I hang out with Jessi quite a bit. But I miss all of us together. So I'm excited for this summer and it will be awesome.
4. Warm weather. Can warm weather be a plan? I guess so! I'm just ready to break out my wake board and take to the water. It's not snowboarding, but it will do.
5. San Fran! That's right! You heard it here first my family is hopefully planning on visiting this great dates or anything quite yet. But I guess they're working on it. So keep your fingers crossed.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Ah....Life just got INFINITELY better!

Today....I turned in two very long and very tedious papers. (Which I am now stressing about the grades I got on them....) But they're done. No more historical inaccuracies in Shakespeare's more slave revolts and how they relate to Derek Walcott's plays. The papers are done. My stress level...which was seriously the only thing keeping me going....died.
With that I kind of have too. All the hard work is done and I am so ready to just curl up in my bed and sleep until I wake up. No more 7:30 alarms or running up to campus.
I can't do that. I have work both tomorrow and Wednesday at 8 in the morning....yuck. And then finals at 9:30 both Thursday and Friday.
My stress was honestly the last thing keeping me plunking along and now that I know my last two finals are going to be super easy....I've kind of lost all motivation.
Life has gotten better...but I keep looking at this week as hugely long. I so wish I wouldn't have taken home my Ernest Hemingway and Ayn Rand books. Nothing on my bookshelf is really remotely interesting...since they were all textbooks.
And I would rather kill myself than read another one of Shakespeare's plays.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Just Wondering.....

Was anyone but me thinking as I found out Osama bin Laden was dead, that this could potentially be a REALLY bad thing.
You see....Al-Qaida right now, is based out of Pakistan, Pakistan is under suspicion of creating nuclear weapons. They're on friendly terms with Iran....who does have nuclear weapons. A lot of them hate the U.S. Actually the only Middle Eastern country whose citizens are actually going to be happy about his is Saudi Arabia....since bin Laden was actually from there and they don't like him.
I'm not trying to be unpatriotic or anything....I'm just really concerned about the possible backlash this could cause. Al-Qaida is definitely going to want to strike back.