Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Story of Us [Part Two]

I liked Fritz. You liked Hayley.
For some reason I decided to be rude and candid and arrogant to you. I'm still not sure why. I think it was because you still intimidated me and I wanted to do everything completely opposite of acting like that. So I said some things I didn't mean. I tried to find your buttons and push them. I was very good at it. Too good at it.
I remember the day you texted me. You stole my number off my employee page and tried to freak me out. You liked pushing my buttons too. I thought it might be you when that strange number texted me. But I didn't want to think you would go that far out of your way for me.
I'm sure I double checked the number with Hayley. She had your number and she texted you a bit. Then you and I began texting. And suddenly we became friends. I became infatuated with you all too quickly.
Even though I found out much later you did actually like me when we were 17, you never admitted it then. Even when you took me out on Valentine's Day. I went rock climbing for you and I was so scared of heights. Then you spilled your teriyaki sauce all over the table at Rumbi and I realized you might have been just as nervous as I was.
I remember the young women retreat I went on. I counted down the hours until I got to go on our date. We went tubing at Soldier Hollow, to dinner at Bajio, and then to Vantage Point. That was the night you told me I was cool but you didn't want to date me.
I told you not to bother walking me to my door. I used to be much more brash than I am now. I responded to the pain of your rejection by trying to be strong and mean to you. More than two years later you would tell me that you had driven away from my house wondering if you had made a mistake.
It may have just been poor timing. For both of us. You were graduating and moving away to Logan. I didn't have things as figured out as I thought I did.
Somehow we stayed friends and coworkers at APX and then at Icon. And then you moved to Logan and I never really thought we would stay friends, as jealous as you made me telling me all about the girls you had kept warm at the outside movie. I remember being so frustrated at you.
I kept busy in PG with a new boyfriend and being a senior. I did visit Logan for a leadership conference, however, and when I did I saw you for a brief moment. You gave me the Warren Miller magazine for that year and then disappeared.
You got your mission call to Ghana and left. And I remember thinking as you turned down my offer for lunch that I would probably never see you again. I thought that would be the end of the story. But it wasn't.

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Story of Us [Part One]

I was 16 and boy crazy. Now that I'm a little older I see all the wasted days sitting on MSN Messenger waiting for some boy I had a crush on to get online so I could IM was the cool thing to do once upon a time. I promise.
Facebook was still new and no one had ever heard of it. I had less than 20 friends and assured my parents how different from Myspace it was. It was June and I felt grown up working at Firstline Security.
I was trying to pull three jobs that summer. I worked most mornings at the PG Library teaching my little class of three year olds and filling up helium balloons for hours on end. I would then go work at Firstline and then on the weekends I was a caterer.
I was also trying to play on a softball team. And that was exactly how I met you. I didn't know many people at Firstline, but I knew my best friend Hayley did. She has this knack for knowing everyone, so I felt pretty safe asking her if she knew anyone to pick up my shift so I could go to my tournament game. She was sitting next to you and she asked you if you would take it. I remember being really embarrassed she had asked you when I was right there because I could tell you were older than me...and I as boy crazy as I was it didn't make me not nervous.
I know you said no...and I remember walking away embarrassed and hoping I would never see you again. But I would see you again. I don't remember if I ever made it to that game. But I remember meeting you and that was what mattered. That was the beginning of the story even though I didn't know it at the time.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


When we drive home from a day of being with your family I want to go home to a place that we can call ours.
I hate goodbyes.
You're good at all the things I'm not.
I know that if I were to wake up and think there were spiders in my bed you would be able to calm me down a lot better than I can on my own.
You tell me I'm beautiful when I don't feel like it at all.
I love your smile.
Being apart is so hard.
I feel like I'm an honorary family member.
You humor me when I want to show you a new band or song I've found.
You make me laugh.
I can't stay mad at you.
You introduced me to Phish Food.
I love you.