This week has been unbearable. As of sunday things were working out pretty well for me, and then after school on Monday I found out some of my friends knew some things they shouldn't. One because I didn't tell them and really only told around 5 people NOT including them, and two because everyone was entirely sworn to secrecy so I hadn't worried about it. So pretty much through a crappy turn of events and bad luck a lot of people know stuff they shouldn't about stuff.
I tried to fix it, I called up the people who knew and explained that it wasn't any of their business to know about it and that I had never planned on telling them. Things seem to be pretty much worked out with a few people. But sometimes some of my friends are so immature. I pretty much came home from school and gave into the tears I had been fighting all through school.
It's not fair. I was smart I didn't tell many people and the only people I did was more for advisory purposes because I had questions. Why is it everyone found out just because of one person? So now I feel dumb and yet I'm trying to just put on a brave face and deal with it. That is so much easier said than done though. It's hard to just deal when you're dying to run away, just get away from parts of this. And even though someone else is involved I somehow feel so alone in this. Like none of it is directed at him. Which also doesn't seem fair, and at the same time I don't want him to deal with it. I would rather me just have to bear it all.
I'm lost.
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