Just In Case

You were in need of a good cry today....I didn't think I was, but once I started reading this blog I couldn't stop. You should stop here....and maybe donate a little too.

Right

I miss being right all the time. Or at least the confidence I used to have that I was always right. Right so often that when I finally was wrong...I had to sign a sheet of paper to show it was genuine. Maybe you could call that stubbornness....
I just feel like I used to be the no nonsense girl that was cutthroat when she needed to be and didn't take any prisoners.
Like when I told my principal off....Or when I wrote a very frank email.....
I think I know the day it changed. I think it stemmed from words from a very angry man who never apologized to me...just my mother, and crying the in Mr. Weishar's office to get the administration off my back. I think it came from dealing with people and being left out.
I think those were the times I had to grow up.
As Shakespeare might put it....the shrew has been tamed.
Maybe this realization that I don't really know anything comes from growing up. From understanding that my parents just improvised and were just are just as scared as I am about growing up and getting older.
Because just when I thought I had things figured out something comes along and opens my eyes a little wider. I realized all I could have and that life just wouldn't work without it.
I am so confused.
Times like this make me miss the days when I was always right.

3 Years Ago....

Three years ago yesterday I was on my very first date with a boy named Mark. He took me rock climbing and then out to dinner at Rumbi. He spilled his Teriyaki sauce ALL over the table. I still remember the outfit that I wore to school that day and that I had curled my hair. I met him at the Quarry and I was enormously afraid of heights.
Three years....a few boyfriends and a lot of growing up later I sat in Rumbi with that very same boy. He didn't spill his Teriyaki....but I left my fork in my mouth on accident (I know...I'm still trying to figure this one out too). I hope your Valentines day was as amazing as mine!

I like Rockwell Kent

"Is it mere chance that the forms and humors of nature appear as symbols of the moods, experiences and desires of the human spirit? The unbroken pathways of the wilderness are reminders of the hard and solitary way that ardent souls must travel. The glittering, virgin whiteness of high mountain-fields of snow, untrodden, maybe unattainable, their mist-veiled beauty neither earth nor cloud, remote serene and passionless, picture the spirit's aspiration. Can it have been the fervid imagination of man that has endowed these mountains with an aura of symbolism? Rather is it the reality of mountains and plains, the sea and the unfathomable heavens, unchangingly forever dominating man, cradling him in that remote hour of his awakening into consciousness, forever smiling, brooding, thundering upon him, that have imposed their nature upon man and made him what he is." - Rockwell Kent

Perfection

Perfection feels warm despite the falling snow around you.

Perfections sounds like First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes playing on the car stereo.

Perfection looks like dancing in a deserted parking lot in the lamplight at 11:45 p.m.

This was my Monday night.