I've been doing pretty well with this whole Tyson leaves in 2 weeks thing...until last night. I think last night was the first time it really hit me that he's leaving.
I keep trying to figure out why it's taken me this long to realize that he's leaving. Maybe this is just my way of dealing with it. I just keep pretending that I can just drive up the road and be at his house. I'm used to not seeing him in Logan, but he's always here in PG.
I know him going is the right thing to do, but I can't help but feel selfish about it. Most of me doesn't want me to go, but the wiser part understands.
I just keep trying not to think about it and at the same time I think to myself is this the last time we'll talk about this? Is this the last movie we'll go out to?
I keep trying to hold myself together and so far I've been fairly successful. Until last night when it hit me. He's really going to be leaving.
Of course there are going to be the things I won't miss, like how he can be a really big grump sometimes...but other things I know I'll miss. Like our talks, how it feels when he subconciously takes my hand when he's driving, how whenever I'm tired and say carry me he takes it way too seriously, or how he calls me Tumblina.
I'll miss more of him being my best friend than anything else. How we can tell each other everything, how he knows me better than I know myself, how well he can read me, and how he knows exactly what I'm trying to say even when I can't convey it. We have tons of inside jokes that no one else will understand.
Yeah I think I might have been better off pretending that this wasn't really happening....
No comments:
Post a Comment